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Birthdays- A Celebration of Sadness

 My eldest son had a birthday last week.  I spent the day in quiet reflection and fighting the sadness that always occurs with my estranged children's birthdays.  The sadness used to overwhelm me and consume my day. I no longer allow that to be the case, but the sadness does seep in.  It is difficult to recognize their birthdays without being able to participate in their celebrations.  I was accustomed to making certain my children felt very special on their birthdays.  It was a big deal.  I inevitably had warm and wonderful trips down memory lane, recalling their birth and the delight I felt.  I am working to be able to focus on those feelings on these days instead of the intense sadness and lonliness.  It is an ongoing endeavor.  It is not easy and does not come without my conscious decision to change the manner in which I handle these days.  It is a matter of survival.  No.  It is a move toward more than survival. ...
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Unveiling the Shame

 My purpose for creating this blog is two-fold.  Firstly, I want to lift the veil of shame I have lived under since being disowned by my children.  Secondly, I hope to offer some hope or comfort to others experiencing estrangement from their adult children.  I do not claim to be an expert on this topic.  I am learning to cope as I go.  Perhaps what I have learned and will continue to learn can save someone else some time and some grief.  I certainly hope so.    I gave birth to two childrn.  I helped raise two step children.  None of them speak to me as of this day.  I have not seen or been in the company of my children in over ten years.  I have no clear understanding of why I was fired as a mother.  They each stopped communicating with me at various times.  I don't think it was a coordinated effort.  I don't know if they speak with each other.  They have quite effectively cut me out of their lives....
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