Birthdays- A Celebration of Sadness
My eldest son had a birthday last week. I spent the day in quiet reflection and fighting the sadness that always occurs with my estranged children's birthdays. The sadness used to overwhelm me and consume my day. I no longer allow that to be the case, but the sadness does seep in. It is difficult to recognize their birthdays without being able to participate in their celebrations. I was accustomed to making certain my children felt very special on their birthdays. It was a big deal. I inevitably had warm and wonderful trips down memory lane, recalling their birth and the delight I felt. I am working to be able to focus on those feelings on these days instead of the intense sadness and lonliness. It is an ongoing endeavor. It is not easy and does not come without my conscious decision to change the manner in which I handle these days. It is a matter of survival. No. It is a move toward more than survival. It is an attempt to live and to find joy in my life despite the